This isn't Middle Earth

But we may soon be ruled over by "The Elders", brought to you by Richard Branson and Peter "Shock the Monkey" Gabriel! Holy crap Peter has shocked a few too many monkeys and perhaps wielded one too many sledgehammers in his day. He's at the far left in the group photo. Look at the after and before!!

Report: Marbury says he'll play in Italy when Knicks deal expires

Italy's national IQ forecasted to plummet in 2009.

Coming soon to a bathroom near you

The Pizza Hut Double Roll!

Simpsonating

Nirav, Bates, Rekoumis, Mee Luench, and yours truly -- looking better than ever. Please do yourself a favor and create your own Simpsons avatar:

Workin hard for the money

``I had to look my best because I knew work would pick up,'' said Mendes, wearing a tight silver dress and black leggings. ``I was inspired by the gymnasts and the water ballet girls.''

Sensitive baseball GM's

Ichiro-gate continues between the Marlins and Mariners' executives and Bill Bavasi gets in a real good zinger:

QUARREL CONTINUES

The verbal sparring continued Friday in the aftermath of comments by Marlins president David Samson objecting to the Seattle Mariners for the five-year, $90 million contract the team awarded to All-Star outfielder Ichiro Suzuki.

Samson said the lucrative contract would ''take the sport down,'' among other things.

Mariners president Chuck Armstrong shot back on Thursday, saying, ``It strikes us as bizarre that Samson would go public and make such a statement.''

Added Mariners general manager Bill Bavasi on Friday: 'My mother always taught me that if the only thing you have to say is `[expletive] David Samson,' you shouldn't say anything at all. So I'm not going to say anything at all.''

Samson said Friday he is done discussing the issue.

Good point Chad

Today Chad Ford ripped into the Magic for the ridiculous contract they just gave Rashard Lewis and he was spot on:

In many cases, the battle between agent and general manager is not a fair fight. On one side you have the agent, a professional negotiator who spends all year thinking about how to drive up the player's price. On the other side you have GMs, many of whom are former players who have seldom handled negotiations. They usually had agents for that.

Isiah Thomas' sole job his entire life was to decimate his opponents on the basketball court. He was AWESOME at it. Meanwhile, his handlers took care of his contract, finances, unlimited supply of toilet paper, etc. He then went on to convince people he had the management skills to run the CBA...18 months later, the league declared bankruptcy. He is currently in control of the largest budget of any NBA team and, surprise, surprise, has shown a laughable lack of business acumen and positioned my Bulls for years of conference championships. I'll give him one thing -- since his job his whole life was as a basketball player, he does manage to find basketball talent pretty well via the draft (McGrady, Stoudamire, Camby, Ariza, Lee, Balkman).

But for the most part Isiah is a train wreck in his current profession and no one should be surprised. A similar situation would be Donald Trump getting rid of his lifetime private chef and then going on to prepare fusion cuisine delicacies himself at Nobu. Or like George W. Bush going from a pampered underachieving rich kid to President.

Oh.

Damn.