Baseball been very very good to me

An esteemed friend invited me along to quite an event last night -- a dinner and conversation with Jeff Wilpon and Omar Minaya, respectively the owner and GM of the New York Mets.

In the Q&A I managed to make a bit of a fool of Minaya. Some kid asked him who he thought was the most clutch hitter on the Mets. He started talking about how it's probably Moises Alou. I then piped in (our table was right next to Minaya and Wilpon so if I said something it was right in their ear) and asked if there even is such a thing as a clutch hitter or are there just good hitters and bad hitters? To that he brought up David Eckstein and how much he loves his grittiness and clutch hitting. He also alluded to Arod not being clutch. Then I asked him, if he had a choice, who he'd rather have up to bat in a key Game 7 situation. He said Eckstein all the way. I responded: "Well, that's crazy."

And it is crazy. How these images of players get created and then people stick to them with absolutely no evidence other than the one time they saw the guy have a big hit to win a game. Does anyone know the stats behind these assertions of "clutchness"? No way. Over a season or a career you know how many home runs a guy hits, rbi's, stolen bases, etc. but no one knows off hand a player's average in close games. And if you do know that Eckstein is 5 for 12 in the 8th and 9th innings of playoff games (hypothetical stats here), those are small samples anyways that are bound to change with the next few high pressure at bats the guy has. Especially when this particular guy in question sucks at hitting. This is Stats 101: small sample sizes, the mysterious line between correlation and causation, oh, and don't get me started about kurtosis!

Another dude we were with froze when he had the chance to ask a question and proceeded to ask what we were all waiting for, Wilpon and Minaya's thoughts on Xavier Nady. And not one update on Pedro. The new stadium is gonna be sick though, so I'm told.

Diana Diana Diana Diana Diana Diana Diana Diana Diana Diana Diana Diana Diana Diana

Thank God, I really felt this wasn't covered enough. There are 14 new books coming out this summer about Princess Di, 10 years after her death. And Darfur burns.

For god's sake, clear your Google search history

I was reading the Sports Guy's online chat and he mentioned something about Big Sexy's recent appearance on Oprah being the most surreal TV moment of the year. I had no idea what he was talking about, and without much thought searched for "big sexy, oprah" in google. I did find out that Big Sexy is sports columnist Jason Whitlock's nickname, but not before coming across www.biggerbras.com and leaving a shady search item on my browser.

Congrats Mark

A no-hitter in 2 hours and 3 minutes. Well done sir.

Someone at ESPN thinks he's being funny at the expense of the man, the myth, the legend Mark Buerhle though. And, dammit, it is funny, much to my dismay. The headline on his no-hitter is "The White Stuff" and the picture is a little too suggestive of Weird Al's interpretation for my taste. Eww.

Ichiro -- Jedi Master?

Ichiro, the day before facing his fellow Japanese phenom Dice-K for the first time in the States: "I hope he arouses the fire that's dormant in the innermost recesses of my soul," he says. "I plan to face him with the zeal of a challenger."

The dude is freakin talking in proverbs! How awesome is that? Could you imagine Chase Utley or Manny Ramirez talking like this? We need more derring-do and verbal kinetics from our players dammit.

Alcohol-free injustice

Oh that Ozzie.

White Sox skipper Ozzie Guillen was relishing the rare victory in Oakland, though still frustrated with the A's alcohol-free clubhouse that has been dry since last season.

"We never do that," he said after coming out to the clubhouse to hang with his team. "It's weird to win here the first time in 20 years and not have a beer to celebrate. ... Jose definitely needed one like this."

Ricky Rubio update

http://slamonline.com/online/2007/04/the-best-basketball-player-youve-never-heard-of/

Breaking News: Iraq just like Indiana in summertime but with bombs and stuff

Jon Stewart and the gang do a great job of skewering the daily stupidity of our great politicians, but sometimes these fools just do the work themselves and there is no fake reporter set up needed.

A recent Congressional delegation visited a Baghdad marketplace, taking only mild precautions such as wearing bulletproof vests at all times and bringing along 100 soldiers in armed Humvees, hovering helicopters, and snipers for backup. Here's a sample of their clear-eyed take on the area's safety:

At a news conference shortly after their outing, Mr. McCain, an Arizona Republican, and his three Congressional colleagues described Shorja as a safe, bustling place full of hopeful and warmly welcoming Iraqis — “like a normal outdoor market in Indiana in the summertime,” offered Representative Mike Pence, an Indiana Republican who was a member of the delegation.

The word of the day is delusion. McCain and his fellow Straight Talk Express folks are trying to spread the word.

Save Joakim from himself

From John Hollinger's blog post yesterday:

So instead of more clichés from Sunday's media session, I'll share my favorite anecdote from Saturday night: About 10 minutes after the Florida-UCLA game ended, I was talking to another reporter near the entrance to the locker rooms. Joakim Noah had been doing some postgame interviews on the court, and just then he was returning to the locker room to join this teammates. As he ran (not walked) past us, he let out a hair-raising scream toward nobody in particular, for no apparent reason other than his team had won. Again, this was several minutes after a game that itself had been settled early in the second half. It's like he has Red Bull in his veins instead of blood.

Interesting potential Vegas line: how many games into Joakim Noah's NBA career will a disgruntled veteran power-forward/center in the ilk of Danny Fortson or Reggie Evans bash his head in? When he is no longer the big man on campus (or actually 23rd biggest man on campus after all the starters on the football team the school actually cares about), I doubt he will be able to pull off these Tarzan moments with his safety assured. Oh, I know a fun game, name the player on each NBA roster most likely to crush him like a little baby Gator:

Atlanta Hawks: Esteban Batista - Budding goon in the Slovenian Professional Basketball League.
Boston Celtics: Uhhh, I don't know, Kendrick Perkins? Surprise surprise, one of the league's worst teams has no legitimate enforcer.
Charlotte Bobcats: Walter Herrmann - Only because his name translates to Mr. Mann in German and he looks super shady. Otherwise a weak goon roster.
Chicago Bulls: Ben Wallace - Lots of potential Joakim-wackers on the squad, but I think you might have to go with Ben Wallace, instigator of the biggest brawl in NBA history.
Cleveland Cavs: Scot Pollard - Dirtay
Dallas Mavericks: Erick Dampier - Pretty darn nice guy lineup for such a dominant team. Dampier is pretty tame but scary nonetheless as a gigantic, jacked human being.
Denver Nuggets: Reggie Evans - A nose surgeon's wet dream.
Detroit Pistons: Rasheed Wallace - Damn, scary roster with Dale Davis, Jason Maxiell, Antonio McDyess, and Nazr Mohammed all contenders. But lest you forget, Rasheed Wallace is insane.
Golden State Warriors: Stephen Jackson - no comment.
Houston Rockets: Dikembe Mutombo - The Grandfather Goon could finger wave little Joakim into oblivion but I'm thinking he also dishes out a mean bitch slap.
Indiana Pacers: David Harrison - Jermaine O'Neal is probably too cautious in the post-Artest melee era.
LA Clippers: Chris Kaman - Semi-skillful goon whose looks strike as much fear as his fists.
LA Lakers: Ronny Turiaf - Looks like a warrior of some kind. Oh yeah, the killing kind.
Memphis Grizzlies: Alexander Johnson - Notice a trend? Another crappy team with no established enforcer. But Johnson is Mr. America-pumped up and probably willing to maim and/or kill for more playing time.
Miami Heat: Alonzo Mourning - He would cheapshot your grandmother. Good guy though.
Milwaukee Bucks: Ruben Patterson - 9/20/2000: Upon leaving a nightclub in Cleveland, Patterson broke a man's jaw after the man allegedly scratched his car.
Minnesota Timberwolves: Craig Smith - Potential to be a contender for the goon elite some day.
New Jersey Nets: Uncle Cliff Robinson - Surly and 21 years older than Joakim. Not one to take any crap.
New Orleans Hornets: Tyson Chandler - A default pick from a young team in need of goonifying. New York Knicks: Malik Rose - Tough dude.
Orlando Magic: James Augustine - By default. Dwight Howard is a prototype one-man killing machine physically but he prays a lot.
Philadelphia 76ers: Shavlik Randolph - Overhyped disappointment and likely to take his anger out on another potential overhypee.
Phoenix Suns: Kurt Thomas - Lone dirty work man on the run and gun squad.
Portland Trailblazers: Joel Przybilla - Not particularly menacing but seems like a loyal foot soldier willing to crush a skull here and there.
San Antonio Spurs: Bruce Bowen + Teammate X - I'm thinking the classic trip maneuver where Bowen gets on his knees behind Noah and Mr. X would push him over. I had to run many laps for pulling this off in Little League.
Sacramento Kings: Brad Miller - Almost suffered instant death from a near-miss (or is it a near hit? The Internet knows.) Shaq roundhouse a few years ago and lived to tell the tale. Probably still shaken by the event and thus dangerous, much like a wounded grizzly bear. Also looks like the prized fighter from a West Virginia coal-mining town.
Seattle SuperSonics: Danny Fortson - Hide the women and children. He eats barbed wire for breakfast while watching Cliffhanger.
Toronto Raptors: Joey Graham - Jacked and dispensable, perfect combo for a goon.
Utah Jazz: Rafael Arujao - A reprehensible basketball untalent with nothing to lose. I think Bush's preemptive strike doctrine should apply to stop his imminent goonery.
Washington Wizards: Brendan Haywood and Etan Thomas (tie) - Odds are they kill each other first.