How many trampled upon minority groups can the New York Post insult in one day? At least two.
In addition to the front page headline, Page 6: "PORN PUNK GYPPED BONDS' EX"
Friday, October 5, 2007
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Oh that Stephon
Should we declare June 29 a national Stephon Marbury Reawakening Holiday? Yes, yes we should.
Q: And what of Stephon Marbury, who also helped create the Knicks' hostile work environment -- at least in the eyes of the plaintiff -- by having sex with one of the club's interns outside a strip club? What is the fallout for him?
A: He is not one of the defendants, so Marbury need only worry about the damage this episode did to his reputation -- and to his household.
But Marbury did bring a flash of enlightenment to the table Monday at the Knicks' media day, at least partly explaining his summer of bizarre behavior by revealing he has undergone a religious awakening.
"What was the highlight of my summer? When I gave myself to Jesus Christ. The day it happened was June 29," Marbury said. "What happened to me was I was able to see myself outside of myself. I was able to look in the mirror and really see myself. I saw the person who I wanted to be, and who I was looking at."
Q: And what of Stephon Marbury, who also helped create the Knicks' hostile work environment -- at least in the eyes of the plaintiff -- by having sex with one of the club's interns outside a strip club? What is the fallout for him?
A: He is not one of the defendants, so Marbury need only worry about the damage this episode did to his reputation -- and to his household.
But Marbury did bring a flash of enlightenment to the table Monday at the Knicks' media day, at least partly explaining his summer of bizarre behavior by revealing he has undergone a religious awakening.
"What was the highlight of my summer? When I gave myself to Jesus Christ. The day it happened was June 29," Marbury said. "What happened to me was I was able to see myself outside of myself. I was able to look in the mirror and really see myself. I saw the person who I wanted to be, and who I was looking at."
Monday, October 1, 2007
Oh that Isiah
NEW YORK (AP) - Former New York Knicks executive Jeffrey Nix remembered his reaction when Isiah Thomas was hired to run the once-proud franchise in December 2003.
"I know two friends of mine he owes money to," Nix testified at Thomas' ongoing sexual harassment trial.
"I know two friends of mine he owes money to," Nix testified at Thomas' ongoing sexual harassment trial.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Monday, September 24, 2007
Finally, Mahmoud enters the Zone
Here's the NY Times on the most ridiculous part of Mahmoud's speech at Columbia today:
Simple as that eh Mahmoud? I'd daresay homosexuality is as Iranian as pistachio pie buddy. He went on to deny the existence of apples, closets, and the supposed internal organ known in the West as "the spleen".
In response to a question about the treatment of homosexuals in Iran, Mr. Ahmadinejad was initially evasive, instead talking about the death penalty, which, he pointed out, exists in the United States: “People who violate the laws by using guns, creating insecurity selling guns, distributing guns at a high level are sentenced to execution in Iran. Very few of these punishments are carried out in the public eye.”
Pressed by Dean Coatsworth on the original question about the rights of gay men and lesbians in Iran, Mr. Ahmadinejad said: “In Iran, we don’t have homosexuals like in your country. We don’t have that in our country.”
Simple as that eh Mahmoud? I'd daresay homosexuality is as Iranian as pistachio pie buddy. He went on to deny the existence of apples, closets, and the supposed internal organ known in the West as "the spleen".
If your dream is to have an NBA player "message" you
Charlie Bell freely responds to chumps like $$$$ROB DOGGY DOG$$$$ on his Myspace page.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Subprime crisis got you down?
Worry no longer, because with Ric Flair in your corner, you're sure to win!
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Darko rant
If only he played half as hard as he cursed. Idiot. Here's a translation of Darko's recent rant against the FIBA refs after his team lost in European Olympic qualifying.
Relationship Advice from Gilbert
This just in...Gilbert Arenas is crazy. But "fun crazy" right? He got angry with his lady for getting his dad's car all dirty:
"And then she got so frustrated with that, because she came back with, “I take care of the kids and if you want the car cleaned, you have to clean it.” So we was on 16th and Constitution and she kicked me out of the car and I had to walk all the way to the gym. It was probably a mile, but I had on smaller shoes. You know, I wear 13s, but I had on 12s because they matched the outfit I was wearing so my feet were hurting and I didn’t have any cab money to take a cab and that all played a part.
So I went on a strike.
I think all men should do this when they have a disagreement. This is Relationship 101. When you have a fight with “the other,” don’t answer their calls and don’t answer their pages. That usually gets the point across that you’re not talking to them. So, I held out for seven days. I went on strike for seven days and stayed at the gym for seven days. I slept in the gym. They got nice couches in there and it just kept me in the gym working on my knee and stuff."
"And then she got so frustrated with that, because she came back with, “I take care of the kids and if you want the car cleaned, you have to clean it.” So we was on 16th and Constitution and she kicked me out of the car and I had to walk all the way to the gym. It was probably a mile, but I had on smaller shoes. You know, I wear 13s, but I had on 12s because they matched the outfit I was wearing so my feet were hurting and I didn’t have any cab money to take a cab and that all played a part.
So I went on a strike.
I think all men should do this when they have a disagreement. This is Relationship 101. When you have a fight with “the other,” don’t answer their calls and don’t answer their pages. That usually gets the point across that you’re not talking to them. So, I held out for seven days. I went on strike for seven days and stayed at the gym for seven days. I slept in the gym. They got nice couches in there and it just kept me in the gym working on my knee and stuff."
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Polish Bus Drivers
Despite my love of the Polish people I am not above Polish jokes.
Bus Driver Fired for 38,000 Text Messages
Bus Driver Fired for 38,000 Text Messages
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Thursday, August 30, 2007
My president can beat up your president
but check out Putin's posing skills and artistic vision. A true visionary moving us forward from socialist realism to KGB realism! Those pecs didn't shape themselves!
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
A Strong Michael Vick endorsement
This is a quote from Ron Artest about Michael Vick and there is no further commentary needed.
"[He] lied and then came back and apologized to everybody, I felt that was classy."
"[He] lied and then came back and apologized to everybody, I felt that was classy."
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Underappreciated and willing to take on more responsibility for a commensurate increase in salary
I recently read this biting little indictment of the Entitlement Generation. I of course am a dues paying member of said Generation. It made me laugh guiltily (a word if I want it to be dammit) at how spoiled we "unfulfilled" desk jockeys are. I'm a prime offender here, but can you think of a single friend between the ages of 22-28 who hasn't complained at length about a "lack of meaning" at their job with the implicit message that they deserve some mythical fulfilling role helping Third World toddlers in a well-paying job from the comfort of their hip but still reasonably priced apartment around the corner from the gourmet deli? I just wish the writer posted a link to the clip of the defecating horse. I bet it's hilarious!
Meanwhile: Getting worked up over a down market
By Garrison Keillor
Tribune Media Services
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
It's hard to photograph a falling stock market, so the stories about the big Dow Jones plunge showed solemn-faced traders on the floor of the New York exchange or an electronic news banner in Times Square.
The banner (what you could see of it) read, "Stocks Plummet Amid Cred," while in the foreground people crossed the street looking rather underfluffed. In other words, the story was illustrated with a picture of the story being reported. Like when your econ professor said, "This is very important," and you wrote in your notebook, "Important."
It is news when the Dow drops 311 points because it strikes a deep gong in the hearts of older guys tending their retirement accounts.
Who knows if 311 means anything at all? Traders often look solemn: their feet hurt and they drink too many martinis. But all over the United States, the fiftyish and sixtyish imagine our lives turning into a black-and-white documentary in which nattily dressed men stand in line at a soup kitchen.
I am of a generation of Americans that believes in disaster; the younger generation does not. A Harris Interactive poll of Generation Y's feelings about work shows 92 percent want a "flexible work schedule," 96 percent want a job that "requires creativity," and 97 percent want a job that "allows me to have an impact on the world."
All I can say is, Wow. Good luck. And now you know why we need illegal immigrants to do the inflexible uncreative stuff that simply needs doing right now. We've raised a generation of young people who want to be writers. Whassup? That's whassup, dude.
In the workplace, the young sit studiously at their screens observing videos of animals doing hilarious things on YouTube. Cats walk into glass doors and fall down, horses in parades relax their bowels and let loose amazing quantities of flop, and meanwhile the old guy in the office down the hall thinks maybe he should start saving tinfoil. He lives in dread of bad news: Northern Grommets will close the plant and shift production to a factory in Guangdong Province, and his position of Executive Assistant to the Assistant Vice President will turn to dust. No more free ballpoints for Bob. He sits and broods over his sad fate, meanwhile the young men and women in the cubicles are fascinated by the sex life of gerbils. After work they go to Matt's and drink like the Russian cavalry and get totally blitzed and take a leak in the refrigerator. They are working at Northern Grommets only until Steven Spielberg calls and tells them he is wildly in love with their screenplay. This could happen next week or perhaps in the fall. They are almost thirty but their clocks don't tick yet. Their ship will come and they will buy a house in Pacific Palisades and be driven to the studio every day by Felipe while Maria cleans the house and Ramon does the yard and pool.
I'm one of those old guys, trying to maintain forward progress, sure that if I slow down something will bite me from behind. I think about buying a new suit and then the Dow drops and I think, "Well, that's kind of spendy, isn't it." The old one is good enough. Shiny in the seat but I'll just remember to keep my hands clasped behind my back.
I woke up in New York the morning after the Dow fell (which was good, seeing as how I had gone to bed in New York the night before) and there was a slight chill in the air and it said: Get to work, forget about stocks, be thankful for good health, go do your work. Don't retire - you would never get the hang of tai chi anyway - keep shuffling along.
My father was a carpenter and a postal worker. He admired people who came early and stuck with a job until it got done. People who embraced work. His Republicanism was based solidly on that old bootstrap philosophy. Finish your coffee and get to work and let's get this hole dug and don't complain about the heat, it's the same heat for everybody. Stick with the job, rest as you need to, then resume.
The kids surfing and snazzing up their Web sites at work would be aliens to him, and he wouldn't have a lot of sympathy for the gloomy old guy with visions of disaster either. The people most like my dad are the Mexicans coming across the border to work hard and send money home to their families. He would understand those people completely.
Garrison Keillor's "A Prairie Home Companion" can be heard on U.S. public radio stations. Distributed by Tribune Media Services.
Meanwhile: Getting worked up over a down market
By Garrison Keillor
Tribune Media Services
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
It's hard to photograph a falling stock market, so the stories about the big Dow Jones plunge showed solemn-faced traders on the floor of the New York exchange or an electronic news banner in Times Square.
The banner (what you could see of it) read, "Stocks Plummet Amid Cred," while in the foreground people crossed the street looking rather underfluffed. In other words, the story was illustrated with a picture of the story being reported. Like when your econ professor said, "This is very important," and you wrote in your notebook, "Important."
It is news when the Dow drops 311 points because it strikes a deep gong in the hearts of older guys tending their retirement accounts.
Who knows if 311 means anything at all? Traders often look solemn: their feet hurt and they drink too many martinis. But all over the United States, the fiftyish and sixtyish imagine our lives turning into a black-and-white documentary in which nattily dressed men stand in line at a soup kitchen.
I am of a generation of Americans that believes in disaster; the younger generation does not. A Harris Interactive poll of Generation Y's feelings about work shows 92 percent want a "flexible work schedule," 96 percent want a job that "requires creativity," and 97 percent want a job that "allows me to have an impact on the world."
All I can say is, Wow. Good luck. And now you know why we need illegal immigrants to do the inflexible uncreative stuff that simply needs doing right now. We've raised a generation of young people who want to be writers. Whassup? That's whassup, dude.
In the workplace, the young sit studiously at their screens observing videos of animals doing hilarious things on YouTube. Cats walk into glass doors and fall down, horses in parades relax their bowels and let loose amazing quantities of flop, and meanwhile the old guy in the office down the hall thinks maybe he should start saving tinfoil. He lives in dread of bad news: Northern Grommets will close the plant and shift production to a factory in Guangdong Province, and his position of Executive Assistant to the Assistant Vice President will turn to dust. No more free ballpoints for Bob. He sits and broods over his sad fate, meanwhile the young men and women in the cubicles are fascinated by the sex life of gerbils. After work they go to Matt's and drink like the Russian cavalry and get totally blitzed and take a leak in the refrigerator. They are working at Northern Grommets only until Steven Spielberg calls and tells them he is wildly in love with their screenplay. This could happen next week or perhaps in the fall. They are almost thirty but their clocks don't tick yet. Their ship will come and they will buy a house in Pacific Palisades and be driven to the studio every day by Felipe while Maria cleans the house and Ramon does the yard and pool.
I'm one of those old guys, trying to maintain forward progress, sure that if I slow down something will bite me from behind. I think about buying a new suit and then the Dow drops and I think, "Well, that's kind of spendy, isn't it." The old one is good enough. Shiny in the seat but I'll just remember to keep my hands clasped behind my back.
I woke up in New York the morning after the Dow fell (which was good, seeing as how I had gone to bed in New York the night before) and there was a slight chill in the air and it said: Get to work, forget about stocks, be thankful for good health, go do your work. Don't retire - you would never get the hang of tai chi anyway - keep shuffling along.
My father was a carpenter and a postal worker. He admired people who came early and stuck with a job until it got done. People who embraced work. His Republicanism was based solidly on that old bootstrap philosophy. Finish your coffee and get to work and let's get this hole dug and don't complain about the heat, it's the same heat for everybody. Stick with the job, rest as you need to, then resume.
The kids surfing and snazzing up their Web sites at work would be aliens to him, and he wouldn't have a lot of sympathy for the gloomy old guy with visions of disaster either. The people most like my dad are the Mexicans coming across the border to work hard and send money home to their families. He would understand those people completely.
Garrison Keillor's "A Prairie Home Companion" can be heard on U.S. public radio stations. Distributed by Tribune Media Services.
Monday, August 27, 2007
WTF?
Usually the Zone is a place of giggly wonder and merriment, but alas, all is not well in the land of the Bop. Owen Wilson?#$# Dude, come on, you need a friend, you come to ME, my friend.
Friday, August 24, 2007
2nd best show ever
The 80's/90's nostalgia train keeps on choo-chooing. Ironic saturday morning cartoon t-shirts, the Transformers Movie, and now American Gladiators!! Judging by the squealing excitement from anyone ages 20-35 at the mention of this show's return, this is an absolute stone cold lock smash hit.
And your Malibu fix for the day. After the laugh-fest of Japanese Human Tetris and this clip, my abs are approaching Malibu's.
And your Malibu fix for the day. After the laugh-fest of Japanese Human Tetris and this clip, my abs are approaching Malibu's.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Wisdom from Ichiro-san
Beebop Nation picked up on a bit of Ichiro's genius back in April, but the mystical maplewood warrior continues to deliver.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Monday, August 20, 2007
Beebop vs. Barack
Let the record show that High School Dan would have dominated High School Barack on the hardwood.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Inmate Brilliance
Everyone just has to find their niche in life. Like this inmate who is suing Michael Vick for $63 billion in damages, alleging, among other things, "that Vick sold the dogs on eBay and “used the proceeds to purchase missiles from the Iran government.” Who else but a sheer creative genius could come up with accusations like these? Screw sexual favors for extra cigarettes in jail my man. Get a book deal!
Back and Greeker than before
Back from a little trip so the Beebop Zone hiatus is over.
Good god, greeks and non greeks alike, please remember to have your pets spade and neutered, no matter if the price is right!
Thursday, July 19, 2007
This isn't Middle Earth
But we may soon be ruled over by "The Elders", brought to you by Richard Branson and Peter "Shock the Monkey" Gabriel! Holy crap Peter has shocked a few too many monkeys and perhaps wielded one too many sledgehammers in his day. He's at the far left in the group photo. Look at the after and before!! 
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Simpsonating
Nirav, Bates, Rekoumis, Mee Luench, and yours truly -- looking better than ever. Please do yourself a favor and create your own Simpsons avatar:
Monday, July 16, 2007
Workin hard for the money
``I had to look my best because I knew work would pick up,'' said Mendes, wearing a tight silver dress and black leggings. ``I was inspired by the gymnasts and the water ballet girls.''
Sensitive baseball GM's
Ichiro-gate continues between the Marlins and Mariners' executives and Bill Bavasi gets in a real good zinger:
QUARREL CONTINUES
The verbal sparring continued Friday in the aftermath of comments by Marlins president David Samson objecting to the Seattle Mariners for the five-year, $90 million contract the team awarded to All-Star outfielder Ichiro Suzuki.
Samson said the lucrative contract would ''take the sport down,'' among other things.
Mariners president Chuck Armstrong shot back on Thursday, saying, ``It strikes us as bizarre that Samson would go public and make such a statement.''
Added Mariners general manager Bill Bavasi on Friday: 'My mother always taught me that if the only thing you have to say is `[expletive] David Samson,' you shouldn't say anything at all. So I'm not going to say anything at all.''
Samson said Friday he is done discussing the issue.
QUARREL CONTINUES
The verbal sparring continued Friday in the aftermath of comments by Marlins president David Samson objecting to the Seattle Mariners for the five-year, $90 million contract the team awarded to All-Star outfielder Ichiro Suzuki.
Samson said the lucrative contract would ''take the sport down,'' among other things.
Mariners president Chuck Armstrong shot back on Thursday, saying, ``It strikes us as bizarre that Samson would go public and make such a statement.''
Added Mariners general manager Bill Bavasi on Friday: 'My mother always taught me that if the only thing you have to say is `[expletive] David Samson,' you shouldn't say anything at all. So I'm not going to say anything at all.''
Samson said Friday he is done discussing the issue.
Friday, July 13, 2007
Good point Chad
Today Chad Ford ripped into the Magic for the ridiculous contract they just gave Rashard Lewis and he was spot on:
But for the most part Isiah is a train wreck in his current profession and no one should be surprised. A similar situation would be Donald Trump getting rid of his lifetime private chef and then going on to prepare fusion cuisine delicacies himself at Nobu. Or like George W. Bush going from a pampered underachieving rich kid to President.
Oh.
Damn.
Isiah Thomas' sole job his entire life was to decimate his opponents on the basketball court. He was AWESOME at it. Meanwhile, his handlers took care of his contract, finances, unlimited supply of toilet paper, etc. He then went on to convince people he had the management skills to run the CBA...18 months later, the league declared bankruptcy. He is currently in control of the largest budget of any NBA team and, surprise, surprise, has shown a laughable lack of business acumen and positioned my Bulls for years of conference championships. I'll give him one thing -- since his job his whole life was as a basketball player, he does manage to find basketball talent pretty well via the draft (McGrady, Stoudamire, Camby, Ariza, Lee, Balkman).In many cases, the battle between agent and general manager is not a fair fight. On one side you have the agent, a professional negotiator who spends all year thinking about how to drive up the player's price. On the other side you have GMs, many of whom are former players who have seldom handled negotiations. They usually had agents for that.
But for the most part Isiah is a train wreck in his current profession and no one should be surprised. A similar situation would be Donald Trump getting rid of his lifetime private chef and then going on to prepare fusion cuisine delicacies himself at Nobu. Or like George W. Bush going from a pampered underachieving rich kid to President.
Oh.
Damn.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
A Buffet of Goodness
Quote of the day goes to Channing Frye:
On What He Brings to Portland: "I bring everything...a little personality, a little leadership, a little shooting, a little defense. I'm a buffet of goodness."
On What He Brings to Portland: "I bring everything...a little personality, a little leadership, a little shooting, a little defense. I'm a buffet of goodness."
Monday, July 9, 2007
The Transformation of Robert Swift
Before 
Ch-ch-ch-changes. "In addition to a couple of pounds, Swift also added more tattoos, including a machine gun on his right arm."
After
Ch-ch-ch-changes. "In addition to a couple of pounds, Swift also added more tattoos, including a machine gun on his right arm."
I'm focusing my prayers these days on the recovery of Robert Swift's knee so we can see the young SuperSonic in all his newfound Paul Bunyan glory next season.
After
Thursday, July 5, 2007
Cream of the Fight? Who knew?
The Intern was singing Rocky soundtrack lyrics this morning and broke into "It's the eye of the tiger, it's the cream of the fight, Rising up to the challenge of our rivals". I immediately called shenanigans and said there is no way the lyric is "cream of the fight" but the more sensible "thrill of the fight". Well, I was wrong. I'm not saying the theme song for a movie series about a down and out Italian-American boxer who goes on to end the Cold War has to have some internal logic. Well, yes, I am. What the F is the cream of the fight?!
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Degenerate Yankee Fans
I had a grand ol' time at the Yankees-Twins game last night. A fat drunken mammal (species unclear) picked up his cell phone and started hysterically sobbing in front of us. My friends and I gave each other a few WTF? looks. Then, in a New York Minute, this dude blindly swings his sweaty drumstick of an arm towards your faithful writer's head. I parried the blow and it just grazed my noggin. Then the mammal starts yelling "What you laughin at?" while backing away from the large man he just grazed. His friends took him down the stairs, where he proceeded to yell at other fans and pick a few more fights (the entire stadium security staff must have had a well-deserved day off). He left to a chorus of boos.
Question of the day: who would I rather have a few quality one-on-one minutes with, this hippo Yankee fan or the slimeball who recently flashed my girlfriend on the subway? All kinds of critters come out of the woodworks in this fine city.
Family Unfriendly Entertainment
In case you had warm and fuzzy feelings about the state of the world today, let me bring you one of the more schocking (but not really surprising) stories I've seen in a while. This Palestinian Hamas-sponsored kids' show featured Farfour, a Mickey-Mouse lookalike who dabbles in jihadism. The show decided to send him off with a bang in the last episode and HAVE HIM KILLED on the show....by a dude DRESSED IN AN ISRAELI SOLDIER UNIFORM.
The channel followed that up with an edited version of Disney's Ratatouille, where the animated Parisian rodent uses his cooking tools for a genital cutting tutorial. Damn, I just made that up for effect and it's still not as bad as reality.
The channel followed that up with an edited version of Disney's Ratatouille, where the animated Parisian rodent uses his cooking tools for a genital cutting tutorial. Damn, I just made that up for effect and it's still not as bad as reality.
Monday, July 2, 2007
Greatest movie promo idea. Ever.
It can't possibly measure up to the awesomeness of Live Free or Die Hard! but I'm pretty damn excited for the Simpsons Movie. And you'll be able to pre-game with Duff Beer!
Friday, June 29, 2007
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Who picks these player photos for ESPN?
Whoever it is, I would like to shake that person's hand for the comedy, intentional or not. The strange thing is once these guys get a photo for their player profiles, no matter how ridiculous, they never seem to change. Here's a sample of a few guys who were probably cheated out of millions of dollars because their photos made them look "challenged" in one way or another ahead of the NBA Draft.
Glamour shot of Jared "I'm not retarDud" Dudley
Marco Belinelli: "Ayyyyy, Ima Skeletora Juniora." - in exaggerated Italian accent
Tiago Splitter "The Slow Spaniard"
UPDATE: "The Slow Brazilian who happens to play in Spain"
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Those crazy teat-loving Poles
The German politician's description of the photo as "tasteless" is a real insult to Chancellor Merkel's chestly endowments.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Monday, June 25, 2007
My new favorite basketball player
Please oh please oh please sign Pooh for next year Jim Kelly. How can you resist that name...and those pearly whites! I know Urine Johnson was a flop in the NBA but Pooh is can't-miss!
Jun 25 - One player Toronto might invite back for a closer look, based on his performance over the weekend, was point guard Pooh Jeter, who played last season in the D-League for Colorado, the Raptors' affiliate there.
"In college, he was a scorer and he's really developed from just a scorer into a point guard and his development has been incredible there," Jim Kelly said. "He's been one of the better performers here." -- Toronto Globe and Mail
Jun 25 - One player Toronto might invite back for a closer look, based on his performance over the weekend, was point guard Pooh Jeter, who played last season in the D-League for Colorado, the Raptors' affiliate there.
"In college, he was a scorer and he's really developed from just a scorer into a point guard and his development has been incredible there," Jim Kelly said. "He's been one of the better performers here." -- Toronto Globe and Mail
Thursday, June 21, 2007
From career advice to flashing in Teen Wolf
Please check out this clip from the end of Teen Wolf. This is nearly as earth shattering as the priest's boner in Little Mermaid.
Employee Evolution
Great career/life direction website for 20-somethings profiled in the Journal today.
24-hour endurance run
Damn, this guy is ridiculous. 50 marathons in 50 days?! 24-hour run happening today in Times Square.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Bloomberg = stud
Damn this guy is a breath of fresh air in the midst of all the robo-talk on the campaign trail.
Monday, June 18, 2007
Friday, June 15, 2007
Arguably the 1st, 2nd and 3rd greatest mug shots ever
A treasure trove over at The Smoking Gun that you have probably seen before but who can get enough?
Larry Effing King
The Richest Man on the Planet
One too many Lost dvd marathons for blondie.
The Skita Smirk
I really enjoyed this picture of Skita, NBA draft bust extraordinairre. He is smirking as he's getting stripped! Doesn't that look scream out: "Wow, I can't believe the jokers in the Nuggets front office wasted a lottery pick on me! I suck!"
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Bryce Maximus James
The name of Lebron's newborn son. Maximus comes from Russell Crowe's character in The Gladiator, which just so happens to be Lebron's favorite movie. Just because The Big Lebowski might be my favorite movie doesn't mean I'm gonna name my kid The Dude, but King James can do whatever he wants. I can't believe you are even wondering what Lebron named his first son. Lebron James Jr. of course.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Match Made In Heaven
IHOP is in talks to buy Applebee's!!! Mmmmm, maple syrup quesadillas, perhaps with a side of Ribs in a Blanket? I like this. This is good. Consolidating locations of fat accumulation is really gonna make things easier for all of us in our quest for the holy grail of American fattitude.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
(Some of) The Truth comes out
'Sopranos' creator's last word: End speaks for itself
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
The Star-Ledger
What do you do when your TV world ends? You go to dinner, then keep quiet.
"Sopranos" creator David Chase took his wife out for dinner Sunday night in France, where he fled to avoid "all the Monday morning quarterbacking" about the show's finale. After this exclusive interview (agreed to before the season began), he intends to let the work -- especially the controversial final scene -- speak for itself.
"I have no interest in explaining, defending, reinterpreting, or adding to what is there," he says of the final scene.
"No one was trying to be audacious, honest to God," he adds. "We did what we thought we had to do. No one was trying to blow people's minds or thinking, 'Wow, this'll (tick) them off.'
"People get the impression that you're trying to (mess) with them, and it's not true. You're trying to entertain them."
In that final scene, mob boss Tony Soprano waited at a Bloomfield ice cream parlor for his family to arrive, one by one. What was a seemingly benign family outing was shot and cut as the preamble to a tragedy, with Tony suspiciously eyeing one patron after another, the camera dwelling a little too long on Meadow's parallel parking and a walk by a man in a Members Only jacket to the men's room. Just as the tension ratcheted up to unbearable levels, the series cut to black in mid-scene (and mid-song), with no resolution.
"Anybody who wants to watch it, it's all there," says Chase, 61, who based the series in general (and Tony's relationship with mother Livia specifically) on his North Caldwell childhood.
Some fans have assumed the ambiguous ending was Chase setting up the oft-rumored "Sopranos" movie.
"I don't think about (a movie) much," he says. "I never say never. An idea could pop into my head where I would go, 'Wow, that would make a great movie,' but I doubt it.
"I'm not being coy," he adds. "If something appeared that really made a good 'Sopranos' movie and you could invest in it and everybody else wanted to do it, I would do it. But I think we've kind of said it and done it."
Another problem: Over the last season, Chase killed so many key characters. He's toyed with the idea of "going back to a day in 2006 that you didn't see, but then (Tony's children) would be older than they were then and you would know that Tony doesn't get killed. It's got problems."
(Earlier in the interview, Chase noted that often his favorite part of the show was the characters telling stories about the good ol' days of Tony's parents. Just a guess, but if Chase ever does a movie spinoff, it'll be set in Newark in the'60s.)
Since Chase is declining to offer his interpretation of the final scene, let me present two more of my own, which came to me with a good night's sleep and a lot of helpful reader e-mails:
· Theory No. 1 (and the one I prefer): Chase is using the final scene to place the viewer into Tony's mind-set. This is how he sees the world: Every open door, every person walking past him could be coming to kill him or arrest him or otherwise harm him or his family. This is his life, even though the paranoia's rarely justified. We end without knowing what Tony's looking at because he never knows what's coming next.
· Theory No. 2: In the scene on the boat in "Soprano Home Movies," repeated again last week, Bobby Bacala suggested that when you get killed, you don't see it coming. Certainly, our man in the Members Only jacket could have gone to the men's room to prepare for killing Tony (shades of the first "Godfather"), and the picture and sound cut out because Tony's life just did. (Or because we, as viewers, got whacked from our life with the show.)
Meanwhile, remember that 21-month hiatus between Seasons Five and Six? That was Chase thinking up the ending. HBO's then-chairman Chris Albrecht came to him after Season Five and suggested thinking up a conclusion to the series; Chase agreed, on the condition he get "a long break" to decide on an ending.
Originally, that ending was supposed to occur last year, but midway through production, the number of episodes was increased, and Chase stretched out certain plot elements while saving the major climaxes for this final batch of nine.
"If this had been one season, the Vito storyline would not have been so important," he says.
Much of this final season featured Tony bullying, killing or otherwise alienating the members of his inner circle. After all those years of viewing him as "the sympathetic mob boss," were we, like his therapist Dr. Melfi, supposed to finally wake up and smell the sociopath?
"From my perspective, there's nothing different about Tony in this season than there ever was," Chase says. "To me, that's Tony."
Chase has had an ambivalent relationship with his fans, particularly the bloodthirsty whacking crowd who seemed to tune in only for the chance to see someone's head get blown off (or run over by an SUV). So was he reluctant to fill last week's penultimate episode, "The Blue Comet," with so many vivid death scenes?
"I'm the number one fan of gangster movies," he says. "Martin Scorsese has no greater devotee than me. Like everyone else, I get off partly on the betrayals, the retributions, the swift justice. But what you come to realize when you do a series is, you could be killing straw men all day long. Those murders only have any meaning when you've invested story in them. Otherwise, you might as well watch 'Cleaver.'"
One detail about the final scene he'll discuss, however tentatively: the selection of Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" as the song on the jukebox.
"It didn't take much time at all to pick it, but there was a lot of conversation after the fact. I did something I'd never done before: In the location van, with the crew, I was saying, 'What do you think?' When I said, 'Don't Stop Believin',' people went, 'What? Oh my God!'
"I said, 'I know, I know, just give a listen,' and little by little, people started coming around."
Whether viewers will have a similar time-delayed reaction to the finale as a whole, Chase doesn't know. ("I hear some people were very angry and others were not, which is what I expected.") He's relaxing in France, then he'll try to make movies.
"It's been the greatest career experience of my life," he says. "There's nothing more in TV that I could say or would want to say."
Here's Chase on some other points about the finale and the season:
· After all the speculation Agent Harris might turn Tony, instead we saw Harris had turned, passing along info on Phil's whereabouts and cheering, "We're going to win this thing!" when learning of Phil's demise.
"This is based on an actual case of an FBI agent who got a little bit too partisan and excited during the Colombo wars of the'70s," Chase says of the story of Lindley DeVecchio, who supplied Harris' line.
Speaking of Harris, Chase had no problem with never revealing what -- if anything -- terror suspects Muhammed and Ahmed were up to.
"This, to me, feels very real," he says. "For the majority of these suspects, it's very hard for anybody to know what these people are doing. I don't even think Harris might know where they are. That was sort of the point of it: Who knows if they are terrorists or if they're innocent pistachio salesmen? That's the fear that we are living with now."
Also, the story -- repeated by me, unfortunately -- that Fox, when "The Sopranos" was in development there, wanted Chase to have Tony help the FBI catch terrorists isn't true.
"What I said was, if I had done it at Fox, Tony would have been a gangster by day and helping the FBI by night, but we weren't there long enough for anyone to make that suggestion."
I spent the last couple of weeks wrapping my brain around a theory supplied by reader Sam Lorber (and his daughter, Emily) that the nine episodes of this season were each supposed to represent one of the nine circles of Hell from Dante's "The Divine Comedy."
Told of the theory, Chase laughed and said, "No."
Since Butchie was introduced as a guy who was pushing Phil to take out Tony, why did he turn on Phil and negotiate peace with Tony?
"I think Butch was an intelligent guy; he began to see that there was no need for it, that Phil's feelings were all caught up in what was esentially a convoluted personal grudge."
Not from Chase, but I feel the need to debunk the e-mail that's making the rounds about all the Holsten's patrons being characters from earlier in the series. The actor playing Members Only guy had never been on the show; Tony killed at least one, if not both, of his carjackers; and there are about 17 other things wrong with this popular but incorrect theory.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
The Star-Ledger
What do you do when your TV world ends? You go to dinner, then keep quiet.
"Sopranos" creator David Chase took his wife out for dinner Sunday night in France, where he fled to avoid "all the Monday morning quarterbacking" about the show's finale. After this exclusive interview (agreed to before the season began), he intends to let the work -- especially the controversial final scene -- speak for itself.
"I have no interest in explaining, defending, reinterpreting, or adding to what is there," he says of the final scene.
"No one was trying to be audacious, honest to God," he adds. "We did what we thought we had to do. No one was trying to blow people's minds or thinking, 'Wow, this'll (tick) them off.'
"People get the impression that you're trying to (mess) with them, and it's not true. You're trying to entertain them."
In that final scene, mob boss Tony Soprano waited at a Bloomfield ice cream parlor for his family to arrive, one by one. What was a seemingly benign family outing was shot and cut as the preamble to a tragedy, with Tony suspiciously eyeing one patron after another, the camera dwelling a little too long on Meadow's parallel parking and a walk by a man in a Members Only jacket to the men's room. Just as the tension ratcheted up to unbearable levels, the series cut to black in mid-scene (and mid-song), with no resolution.
"Anybody who wants to watch it, it's all there," says Chase, 61, who based the series in general (and Tony's relationship with mother Livia specifically) on his North Caldwell childhood.
Some fans have assumed the ambiguous ending was Chase setting up the oft-rumored "Sopranos" movie.
"I don't think about (a movie) much," he says. "I never say never. An idea could pop into my head where I would go, 'Wow, that would make a great movie,' but I doubt it.
"I'm not being coy," he adds. "If something appeared that really made a good 'Sopranos' movie and you could invest in it and everybody else wanted to do it, I would do it. But I think we've kind of said it and done it."
Another problem: Over the last season, Chase killed so many key characters. He's toyed with the idea of "going back to a day in 2006 that you didn't see, but then (Tony's children) would be older than they were then and you would know that Tony doesn't get killed. It's got problems."
(Earlier in the interview, Chase noted that often his favorite part of the show was the characters telling stories about the good ol' days of Tony's parents. Just a guess, but if Chase ever does a movie spinoff, it'll be set in Newark in the'60s.)
Since Chase is declining to offer his interpretation of the final scene, let me present two more of my own, which came to me with a good night's sleep and a lot of helpful reader e-mails:
· Theory No. 1 (and the one I prefer): Chase is using the final scene to place the viewer into Tony's mind-set. This is how he sees the world: Every open door, every person walking past him could be coming to kill him or arrest him or otherwise harm him or his family. This is his life, even though the paranoia's rarely justified. We end without knowing what Tony's looking at because he never knows what's coming next.
· Theory No. 2: In the scene on the boat in "Soprano Home Movies," repeated again last week, Bobby Bacala suggested that when you get killed, you don't see it coming. Certainly, our man in the Members Only jacket could have gone to the men's room to prepare for killing Tony (shades of the first "Godfather"), and the picture and sound cut out because Tony's life just did. (Or because we, as viewers, got whacked from our life with the show.)
Meanwhile, remember that 21-month hiatus between Seasons Five and Six? That was Chase thinking up the ending. HBO's then-chairman Chris Albrecht came to him after Season Five and suggested thinking up a conclusion to the series; Chase agreed, on the condition he get "a long break" to decide on an ending.
Originally, that ending was supposed to occur last year, but midway through production, the number of episodes was increased, and Chase stretched out certain plot elements while saving the major climaxes for this final batch of nine.
"If this had been one season, the Vito storyline would not have been so important," he says.
Much of this final season featured Tony bullying, killing or otherwise alienating the members of his inner circle. After all those years of viewing him as "the sympathetic mob boss," were we, like his therapist Dr. Melfi, supposed to finally wake up and smell the sociopath?
"From my perspective, there's nothing different about Tony in this season than there ever was," Chase says. "To me, that's Tony."
Chase has had an ambivalent relationship with his fans, particularly the bloodthirsty whacking crowd who seemed to tune in only for the chance to see someone's head get blown off (or run over by an SUV). So was he reluctant to fill last week's penultimate episode, "The Blue Comet," with so many vivid death scenes?
"I'm the number one fan of gangster movies," he says. "Martin Scorsese has no greater devotee than me. Like everyone else, I get off partly on the betrayals, the retributions, the swift justice. But what you come to realize when you do a series is, you could be killing straw men all day long. Those murders only have any meaning when you've invested story in them. Otherwise, you might as well watch 'Cleaver.'"
One detail about the final scene he'll discuss, however tentatively: the selection of Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" as the song on the jukebox.
"It didn't take much time at all to pick it, but there was a lot of conversation after the fact. I did something I'd never done before: In the location van, with the crew, I was saying, 'What do you think?' When I said, 'Don't Stop Believin',' people went, 'What? Oh my God!'
"I said, 'I know, I know, just give a listen,' and little by little, people started coming around."
Whether viewers will have a similar time-delayed reaction to the finale as a whole, Chase doesn't know. ("I hear some people were very angry and others were not, which is what I expected.") He's relaxing in France, then he'll try to make movies.
"It's been the greatest career experience of my life," he says. "There's nothing more in TV that I could say or would want to say."
Here's Chase on some other points about the finale and the season:
· After all the speculation Agent Harris might turn Tony, instead we saw Harris had turned, passing along info on Phil's whereabouts and cheering, "We're going to win this thing!" when learning of Phil's demise.
"This is based on an actual case of an FBI agent who got a little bit too partisan and excited during the Colombo wars of the'70s," Chase says of the story of Lindley DeVecchio, who supplied Harris' line.
Speaking of Harris, Chase had no problem with never revealing what -- if anything -- terror suspects Muhammed and Ahmed were up to.
"This, to me, feels very real," he says. "For the majority of these suspects, it's very hard for anybody to know what these people are doing. I don't even think Harris might know where they are. That was sort of the point of it: Who knows if they are terrorists or if they're innocent pistachio salesmen? That's the fear that we are living with now."
Also, the story -- repeated by me, unfortunately -- that Fox, when "The Sopranos" was in development there, wanted Chase to have Tony help the FBI catch terrorists isn't true.
"What I said was, if I had done it at Fox, Tony would have been a gangster by day and helping the FBI by night, but we weren't there long enough for anyone to make that suggestion."
I spent the last couple of weeks wrapping my brain around a theory supplied by reader Sam Lorber (and his daughter, Emily) that the nine episodes of this season were each supposed to represent one of the nine circles of Hell from Dante's "The Divine Comedy."
Told of the theory, Chase laughed and said, "No."
Since Butchie was introduced as a guy who was pushing Phil to take out Tony, why did he turn on Phil and negotiate peace with Tony?
"I think Butch was an intelligent guy; he began to see that there was no need for it, that Phil's feelings were all caught up in what was esentially a convoluted personal grudge."
Not from Chase, but I feel the need to debunk the e-mail that's making the rounds about all the Holsten's patrons being characters from earlier in the series. The actor playing Members Only guy had never been on the show; Tony killed at least one, if not both, of his carjackers; and there are about 17 other things wrong with this popular but incorrect theory.
Monday, June 11, 2007
My dvr is not broken thank you very much
Explanation for the series ending Sopranos blackout:
People in the diner in The Sopranos last night:
- Guy at counter was Nicky Leotardo, Phil's nephew
- 2 black guys were the ones that tried to shoot Tony in an earlier season
but missed and clipped his ear.
- The truck driver was the brother of someone robbed and killed by
Christopher in season 2.
- Cub scouts were witnesses in the train store when Bobby got shot.
- Do you remember the convo that Bobby and Tony had two episodes in the boat, about getting whacked? He said if you were to get whacked, you would never see it coming and it would just be like everything would go black all of a sudden...
People in the diner in The Sopranos last night:
- Guy at counter was Nicky Leotardo, Phil's nephew
- 2 black guys were the ones that tried to shoot Tony in an earlier season
but missed and clipped his ear.
- The truck driver was the brother of someone robbed and killed by
Christopher in season 2.
- Cub scouts were witnesses in the train store when Bobby got shot.
- Do you remember the convo that Bobby and Tony had two episodes in the boat, about getting whacked? He said if you were to get whacked, you would never see it coming and it would just be like everything would go black all of a sudden...
Thursday, June 7, 2007
Wine at a premium
Ok, I was kidding about the crack dealer hedge fund. But this is for real and apparently successful: The Fine Wine Fund.
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
Redemption
It was pretty universally accepted that Rick Barnes aggressively screwed up his team's chances in the NCAA tournament even though he had the best college basketball player in history. And indeed, "Watching Barnes manage the second half of the Kansas game was like watching Principal Ed Rooney handle the Ferris Bueller situation." However, the man made quite a comeback today in my book with this gem on his ex-ass-saver Kevin Durant and the whispers that Durant's stock was dropping because he showed up to pre-draft workouts weak and out of shape:
"If people question his strength, they're stupid," Barnes said Tuesday. "If they are looking for weight lifters to come out of Texas, that's not what we're producing. There are a lot of guys who can bench press 300 pounds in the NBA who couldn't play dead in a cowboy movie. Kevin's the best player in the draft – period, at any position."That is an aggressively true statement. Nice job Rick.
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
Size Matters!
I mean economies of scale silly. Anyways, diehard Zone readers have alerted me to AdultVest, "The world's first and only investment community designed specifically for the adult industry!" And they are about to launch a hedge fund to originate loans for ever-expanding adult-entertainment club networks. I swear, some aspiring entrepeneur is going to launch a hedge fund soon backing underfollowed crack dealers.
Monday, June 4, 2007
Gaaaaary
Gary Sheffield is a crazy human being. In a Dark Alley Poll, he ranks near the top of instant killers to avoid. That wild look he gets in his eyes makes one want to pee his and/or her pants. Anyways, his militancy continues. But in the midst of his neverending us against them shtick, a larger point sticks out: holy crap, only 8.5% of MLB players are African-American. By my count there are only two African-American starting pitchers in the whole league (Dontrelle and CC Sabathia). The league runs baseball academies off back roads in the Dominican (think Pedro under a mango tree) but they've got nothing similar in Chicago or New York. Why don't we ever hear about this?
The yuppies are coming!
Or in the case of my roommates and I, the yuppies have already arrived. This building is going up a couple blocks from me in Williamsburg. Please check out the delicious comments section, specifically #9. 
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Stop this man
Have you ever seen a bigger 74 year old shadeball than Jerry Buss? Fathers of America, you have been warned.
He was just arrested for a DUI and to the shock of no one, had a 23 year old gal from New York City in the car with him.
Kobe, you must escape from this cretin. I feel your pain. Chicago feels your pain. Let us ease your pain.
He was just arrested for a DUI and to the shock of no one, had a 23 year old gal from New York City in the car with him.
Kobe, you must escape from this cretin. I feel your pain. Chicago feels your pain. Let us ease your pain.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
The Chinese don't mess around
Holy crapsidoodle. In China, you take a few bribes and are responsible as the shady head of Food and Drug Adminstration for the deaths of hundreds across the globe from faulty cough medicine and deadly scooby snacks and it gets you effin chair. This is the equivalent of throwing the FEMA head into the Grand Canyon after the disastrous response to Katrina. A bit disconcerting but at least they're serious about accountability eh?
Circumnavigating
Happy Belated Memorial Day. And be thankful you live in a country where you can throw as big a late night circumcision rager as you want.
World Briefing Asia
Tajikistan: Leader Plans a Small Wedding. For Everyone.
By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
President Emomali Rakhmon called for legislation to limit the size and expense of weddings, birthday parties and funerals, saying the ceremonies had become too expensive and unjustified for the people of his impoverished country, a former Soviet republic. He told a group of lawmakers, clerics and intellectuals that guests at weddings should be restricted to 150; at a funeral to 100; and at a circumcision ceremony to 60. Mr. Rakhmon (formerly Rakhmonov) recently decreed that the Slavic ‘’ov” be dropped from the surnames for all newborns and outlawed gold fillings.
World Briefing Asia
Tajikistan: Leader Plans a Small Wedding. For Everyone.
By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
President Emomali Rakhmon called for legislation to limit the size and expense of weddings, birthday parties and funerals, saying the ceremonies had become too expensive and unjustified for the people of his impoverished country, a former Soviet republic. He told a group of lawmakers, clerics and intellectuals that guests at weddings should be restricted to 150; at a funeral to 100; and at a circumcision ceremony to 60. Mr. Rakhmon (formerly Rakhmonov) recently decreed that the Slavic ‘’ov” be dropped from the surnames for all newborns and outlawed gold fillings.
Friday, May 25, 2007
Think outside the bun and inside your own imminent fatness
Tis a great day. We rediscovered that Taco Bell is one of the lunch options on www.seamlessweb.com. And not just any Taco Bell, but Liberty Cafe & Taco Bell (Famous One). I swear that is how they are listed. Each person gets $13/day to spend on lunch and I'll just say that it goes pretty damn far at my favorite rat-infested Mexican deliciousness center. Here's the total order for 3 aspiring fat-mongers. I am disappointed to admit that the Yoo-Hoo masterstroke was not mine but my colleague's.
Spicy Crunch Wrap Supreme
$4.00
X 1 = $4.00
Crunchy Wrap Supereme
$4.00
X 1 = $4.00
Chicken Quesadilla
$2.99
X 1 = $2.99
Ultimate Chalupa
$4.99
X 1 = $4.99
Steak
Cheesy Gordita Crunch
$3.25
X 1 = $3.25
Grilled Stuft Burrito
$2.89
X 1 = $3.89
Steak
$1.00
Mexican Pizza
$3.29
X 1 = $3.29
Double Decker Taco
$1.49
X 1 = $1.49
Sourcream
$0.50
X 1 = $0.50
Guacomole
$0.50
X 1 = $0.50
Yoo-Hoo
$2.50
X 1 = $2.50
Order Placed: Friday, May 25, 2007 11:02:00 AM
Allocated Member
Expense Code
Amount
Dan Kaminski
$12.68
Jonathan Scharf
$12.68
Jake Provost
$12.68
Payment Information
Order Type
Line of Credit
$38.04
Firm
Product total:
$31.40
Sales Tax:
$2.64
TIP AMOUNT:
$4.00
Grand Total:
$38.04
For food or delivery related issues, please contact LIBERTY CAFE & TACO BELL (FAMOUS ONE) at (212) 758-5900
For billing questions or assistance, please contact SeamlessWeb at (212) 944-7755
Spicy Crunch Wrap Supreme
$4.00
X 1 = $4.00
Crunchy Wrap Supereme
$4.00
X 1 = $4.00
Chicken Quesadilla
$2.99
X 1 = $2.99
Ultimate Chalupa
$4.99
X 1 = $4.99
Steak
Cheesy Gordita Crunch
$3.25
X 1 = $3.25
Grilled Stuft Burrito
$2.89
X 1 = $3.89
Steak
$1.00
Mexican Pizza
$3.29
X 1 = $3.29
Double Decker Taco
$1.49
X 1 = $1.49
Sourcream
$0.50
X 1 = $0.50
Guacomole
$0.50
X 1 = $0.50
Yoo-Hoo
$2.50
X 1 = $2.50
Order Placed: Friday, May 25, 2007 11:02:00 AM
Allocated Member
Expense Code
Amount
Dan Kaminski
$12.68
Jonathan Scharf
$12.68
Jake Provost
$12.68
Payment Information
Order Type
Line of Credit
$38.04
Firm
Product total:
$31.40
Sales Tax:
$2.64
TIP AMOUNT:
$4.00
Grand Total:
$38.04
For food or delivery related issues, please contact LIBERTY CAFE & TACO BELL (FAMOUS ONE) at (212) 758-5900
For billing questions or assistance, please contact SeamlessWeb at (212) 944-7755
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Something is rotten in the state of Mickey
Ahhh, so this is why they don't serve alcohol in the Magic Kingdom. The ban didn't stop these degenerates from Long Island but it could have been worse. Back in March, we foolishly pre-gamed before heading to Magic Kingdom and then showed up to find out the park is Arizonan ass-crack dry. Good thing in the end -- I was about 9 red stripes away from giving Goofy the saliva that he rightfully deserves.
Monday, May 21, 2007
The Fruity Mailman
I got a kick out of this little item about the preeminent prima donna athlete of the 90's, Karl Malone. He had a provision in his contract for a bowl of fruit to be provided in his hotel room. Something to think about the next time you negotiate yourself a raise -- what about the honeydew benefit plan?
Friday, May 18, 2007
New age of warfare?
Just some food for thought on the future of international head-butting.
Climate Change missiles
Uganda's President Yoweri Museveni recently called climate change “an act of aggression by the rich against the poor.”
Following the prescient words of my boy Yoweri, U.S. intelligence analysts are putting top priority on preparing "an assessment of the geopolitical and security implications of global climate change." By top priority I mean $48billion or "largest intelligence authorization ever considered by Congress."
Cybernetically improvised exploding devices
Estonia has been fighting off a cyber attack targeting prominent government, financial, and media websites. They've blamed Russia for orchestrating the attacks and have suggested it equates to "an act of war." The Russians definitely can be creative in their retaliation methods (see the Russia-Georgia Wine Wars). And coincidentally enough, the cyber attacks began on April 27th, in the middle of a public spat between the two countries over Estonia's removal of a Soviet Army soldier statue commemorating those who died fighting the Nazis in WWII.
Poo Bombs
Just kidding. But you never know.
Climate Change missiles
Uganda's President Yoweri Museveni recently called climate change “an act of aggression by the rich against the poor.”
Following the prescient words of my boy Yoweri, U.S. intelligence analysts are putting top priority on preparing "an assessment of the geopolitical and security implications of global climate change." By top priority I mean $48billion or "largest intelligence authorization ever considered by Congress."
Cybernetically improvised exploding devices
Estonia has been fighting off a cyber attack targeting prominent government, financial, and media websites. They've blamed Russia for orchestrating the attacks and have suggested it equates to "an act of war." The Russians definitely can be creative in their retaliation methods (see the Russia-Georgia Wine Wars). And coincidentally enough, the cyber attacks began on April 27th, in the middle of a public spat between the two countries over Estonia's removal of a Soviet Army soldier statue commemorating those who died fighting the Nazis in WWII.
Poo Bombs
Just kidding. But you never know.
Stonehenge renovation
The collaboration to end all collaborations: Ricky Gervais is joining Spinal Tap. In an upset, this tops peanut butter and jelly. Mmm mmm good.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Kid knife fights -- Wednesdays at 8!
CBS came out with their fall lineup today and they seem to have hit the reality show jackpot and/or opened themselves up to ridicule and lawsuits. The premise: 40 kids between the ages of 8 and 15 build a new city in the ghost town of Bonanza City, New Mexico. The title: Kid Nation. No "Lord" or "Flies" in the title but I guess they don't want any self-fulfilling predictions of utter chaos that involve killing fat kids with glasses.
IMDB lists these particularly great taglines from the Harry Hook-directed 1990 Lord of the Flies movie:
No parents. No teachers. No rules... No mercy.
What separates Man from Beast? Not Much!
IMDB lists these particularly great taglines from the Harry Hook-directed 1990 Lord of the Flies movie:
No parents. No teachers. No rules... No mercy.
What separates Man from Beast? Not Much!
Billionaire spoiler
Mayor Bloomberg is supposedly ready to spend a cool $1 bil on a 2008 presidential campaign as a third party candidate. The dude is Ross Perot on non-annoying pills. This makes perfect sense. Especially if the 08 matchup is a non-Rudy Republican (read: socially conservative) vs. Hillary, Mikey Mike would come in and ruffle some serious donkey and elephant feathers as the centrist Presidential Candidate of Common Sense.
Poor Tommy Thompson
The White Sox' catchers coach got a World Series ring. He's one rung above slushee machine operator so I don't feel too bad about this because it's kind of absurd he got one in the first place. But the dude is selling his 2005 ring on Ebay.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
