Pudding the Bear

Florida standout Corey Brewer CARRIES A TEDDY BEAR TO TOURNAMENTS. And it's not some age-old stuffed animal he's held onto since he was a wee lad; his girlfriend gave it to him as a present last year. What an outrage. Not only does he do an injustice to all men by not immediately dumping the girl for being a poopalicious gift giver, he gives her positive reinforcement and turns the thing into a good luck charm! Oh dear, and his teammate has one too. I hope Georgetown fans are apprised of this valuable heckling ammo before Saturday.

Life is full of second chances

Brian Hunter, of "I lost $6bil in a fortnight" fame, is back on the fee-charge-you-to-death prowl. The Amaranth Imploder has supposedly found plenty of willing prey to give him money once again. His new firm is called Solengo Capital. If you happened to be a savage and were not aware, Solengo is of course a type of wine, whose “concentrated aromas of berries and chocolate make the aftertaste last for minutes.” I suspect the aftertaste of Amaranth is still a wee bit bitter for many and oh so NOT chocolatey.

Look-a-like Alert

Miguel Tejada and Flavor Flav.

Short Berkshire Hathaway

The Oracle of Omaha has fallen for King James and lost his marbles along the way. Lebron and Warren Buffett have been involved in a touching courtship for some time now, but did you ever think the second richest man in the world could get this whooped by basketball royalty? That is a happy old man right there.

Bow down and embrace your king

Saw 300 on an IMAX yesterday and nearly suffered a seizure. Dick Cheney should propose a new torture tactic of forcing prisoners to watch Richard Simmons exercise videos and Carrot Top stand-up on an IMAX screen. But, dare I say it, even he isn't that callous. I can't believe there is nothing in between a regular movie screen and an IMAX screen. Can you imagine a world consisting of only 32 oz. Big Gulps and 496 oz. I WILL END YOU Gulps? In an aside, King Xerxes is a sheer unintentionally comedic delight in the film. He also plays for the Phoenix Suns in his spare time and acted as Laura Linney's love interest in Love, Actually!

How Jenna Got Her Groove Back

Good for her. But the best part is even when his daughter has great I-care-about-the-world news, W comes off as Ass R. Johnson III: "She came back and talked to me about this young girl that she has befriended," President Bush said. "And she's deeply concerned about alienationists in our world, and is going to try to raise some money to help the education programs there." What in frak's sake is an alienationist? There are people who want to create an alien nation on Earth? Where the men get pregrant instead of women! Nooooooooo!

Mistakes were made

My sophomore year high school English teacher made me legitimately fear the use of the passive voice, and here we have the f'in attorney general weaseling his way through a press conference with the classic "mistakes were made" construct.

This post has been written. Anger has been displayed. We have been had.

Que magnifico!

I'll admit, this might sound a little weird, but I'm moderately obsessed with a 16-year old Spanish lad. His name: Ricky Rubio. Somehow, he is 6'4 with a 6'9 wingspan and still looks like a harmless little Spanish bumblebee.

In the European U-16 championship last year against the pesky Russians, Rubio led Spain to victory with 51 points, 24 rebounds, 12 assists and 7 steals. Those are X-Box numbers.

Why have I never seen this play done before? Genius. "With 28 seconds left in the first overtime, Rubio was told in the timeout to hold for the final shot. As the ball was inbounded, there was no pressure coming from the Russian team, and Rubio let the ball bounce off his chest and onto the ground. The shot-clock didn’t start because no possession was established, and Rubio picked up the ball with 24 seconds left. His coach had not informed Rubio of the rule; it was the imagination of a 16 year old that led to such a veteran play."

He's the youngest player ever to play in the Euroleague and he's delivering the goods already. Kid is averaging 3.45 steals in only 18 minutes per game. He leads the league in steals (double the next guy) and assists per minute!! And guarding legitimate former college stars like Scoonie Penn and Will Bynum.

He becomes draft eligible in 2009. He recently signed a 6 year deal with his professional Euroleague team DKV Joventut and the rumored buyout is 6 million euro if he wants to enter the draft before the contract runs out. He's kind of a big deal already in the bball dork-o-sphere. But if you're not a basketball-obsessed freak like me, then remember that you heard it here first.

Que mano tiene..increible,asistencias pa flipar!

Don't ask how I found this, just be glad I did

Some highlights of Sex in Space:

"There will be a few problems with zero-gee lovemaking, but most are comparatively minor and probably may be overcome by superior technique. "

"Another interesting feature of three-dimensional orgies is that the participants, once stabilized, can try their hand(s) at “sexual architecture,” using their bodies to build geometric shapes such as spheres, cubes, pyramids and spirals. Kinetic forms may also be constructed such as “windmills” or “Ferris wheels,” with some bodies serving as foundations and others as rotating members or moving chains. The laws of physics tell us that angular momentum is always conserved, so the rotation of any one part of an architecture can readily be transmitted to any other part."

"This same fluid redistribution causes the legs to become quite thin and the torso and head somewhat larger after a few weeks. Our astronauts aren’t talking, but it’s possible that this effect slightly decreases the size of the erect penis, especially since the heart isn’t working as hard or as fast and blood pressure is down. "

"Pioneers of three-dimensional lovemaking will frequently need to consult their dog-eared copy of the NASA Sutra, as virtually anyone should be able to achieve even the most startling contortions. And the Sex-in-Space Race is already on: who will be first to join the Hundred Mile High Club?"

Onward, upward, in and out young skywalkers.

Not to rub it in

Well, yeah, to rub it in: for all of you not getting any, I just wanted to point out that STEPHEN HAWKING has been married twice and fathered three children. Insert your own inappropriate stephen hawking joke here______.